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Happy Valentine’s Day + My worst date EVER!

February 14, 2014


Happy Valentine’s Day all! What are your plans for tonight? We’re making dinner and having a House of Cards marathon in our pajamas. Whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re doing it with someone you love. -xo

Now lets talk the dating game. On this day of love, I thought it may be fun to discuss some of our not so awesome love connections. Truth be told, I’ve only been on four first dates. Three of those dates resulted in long-term relationships, one of which turned into marriage! The fourth first date was a complete disaster and easily my worst date ever. Here’s what went down:

In retrospect, there were tons of red flags but I couldn’t see them at the time. I was about 19 and I met this guy at a frat party (huge red flag) and we struck up a conversation. It turned out we both snowboarded and loved Italian food (clearly we were soul mates). I was surprised that there was any attraction at all because meat head frat boys were not my style.  But he was cute – tall and athletic – and considering he hadn’t pressured me into a keg stand or any other douchey frat bro past time, he seemed like a really nice guy. We made plans to have dinner the following week.

He asked me to pick him up because he didn’t own a car (red flag! red flag!). Normally this would be a major deal breaker, but he was from out of state and lived close enough to school that he could walk, so I  cut him some slack. When I arrived at his apartment, a girl in panties and a camisole answered the door. Did I ring the wrong door? I thought. “Uhm, hi, is Adam here?” She hardly said hello and let me in. I waited awkwardly by the door while she called him. He introduced me to his roommate and then to his other roommate (also a girl) and took me back to his room while he finished getting ready. He explained that he had just gotten last-minute tickets to go on a booze bus through LA and asked if I wanted to go after dinner. Sure, I said. It sounded like fun. But before we left, he “suggested” I change into something more party-like and asked his roommate (the panty and cami one) to loan me an outfit (was this guys serious?!!). I was kind of uncomfortable with this, but went along anyway – and actually, I kind of liked the outfit I was borrowing so it was all good.

We finally got out of the house and he took me to the Olive Garden (or rather I took him), which was a huge red flag, but then realized why. His close friend was a waitress there and hooked us up with carafes of house wine (remember we were only 19 and couldn’t order alcohol). But, since I was driving, I opted to have just one glass of wine, leaving the rest to him. Things were going really well, our conversation was great and we were having a good time getting to know each other. But somewhere through the second carafe of wine, I started to notice that his face had reddened, he was slurring a bit, and laughing a whole lot more. And when he knocked over his glass of wine (red flag!), I realized how drunk he really was. I didn’t feel it my place to cut him off, so I just watched as he downed glass after glass of free table wine until finally it was time for the check. I was relieved that dinner was over and was leaning towards skipping out on the booze bus but I also didn’t want to seem like a killjoy, it was only about 10 o’clock at this point – and I had this pretty fab party outfit on, so I just went with it. Before heading to the bus stop, he asked if I would mind picking up a friend of his on the way (not a huge deal, but still, asking your date to pick up a random friend? C’mon! – I really should have pulled out while I could.) Still, pushover me picked up the friend and followed his directions to catch the booze bus but by the time we got there, it had already left! He started making a few phone calls trying to figure out where the first stop would be. Molly Malone’s. We were in Northridge and it was Friday night. Molly Malone’s would be a solid 40 minutes away. He hadn’t asked but I could hear it in his voice that he was fishing for me to offer to drive all the way out there. This was my chance to get away. I had fulfilled our original date plans, I went above and beyond by wearing his roommates clothes, picking up his friend and driving to the bus stop. I had been a stellar date. I should’ve peaced out right then and there but Nooooo!!!! Guess what I did next? Yep, I offered to drive those bozos to Molly Malone’s!!!! I think I was just trying to be the cool girl and not seem like a jerk. At that point, I decided that I’d just drop them off and go home anyway so I kept telling myself no big deal, in one hour tops you’ll be home.

So, even though I had been driving for a few years at this point, I really wasn’t all that familiar with all of the little pockets that make up LA. Going to bars was still a few years away and my world sort of consisted of staying in my hometown with the occasional adventure here or there. All this to say, I had no idea how to get to Molly Malone’s (and mind you, this was way before GPS). But drunk Adam, on the other hand, he swore he knew the way so I hopped on the freeway and followed my guide’s directions. During the ride, he played DJ and blasted the songs that he liked while waving his arms out the window. I had to close them from my door and press the safety locks because he wouldn’t stop. After what seemed like forever, I saw a familiar site…nope, not Molly Malone’s…it was the ocean!! We had driven halfway to Malibu! We. Were. Lost. And I was super pissed at this point. I was done being nice. I wanted to go home. Adam made another call and finally got the proper directions so we turned around.

Somewhere between Malibu and Molly Malone’s, the friend in the back seat said he needed to roll down his window for a second. I unlocked everything and he proceeded to hurl out the window. I had no idea he’d been drinking alcohol from a Gatorade bottle the whole time we were driving! He’d been so quiet back there. Adam caught a glance of my face and seemed to sober up for a moment, trying to pacify the situation. I just couldn’t wait to get these two out my car. My focus was on getting to this bar!! When we finally arrived at Molly Malone’s it was probably midnight. There was no sign of a party bus and no sign of any people who Adam knew. It turned out that the bus had moved on to its next destination. There was no way in hell that I was going to offer to drive these guys to the next place, let alone back to Northridge. I was done. And told Adam so. I left them stranded in front of Molly Malone’s. But before I left, he had the nerve to lean in and try to kiss me!!! Really? Get a clue! I pulled away sending a very clear message and he said he’d call me later. I drove off as fast as I could.

It was about three weeks before I ever heard from Adam again. And it wasn’t him calling to apologize or make plans  for a second date. It was him calling on behalf of his roommate. She wanted her clothes back.

Happy Valentine’s Day

21 Comments leave one →
  1. February 14, 2014 8:45 am

    This is so terrible, that it’s great! Love it!

  2. February 14, 2014 9:15 am

    Oh god how awful. But it showed you parts of yourself that allowed it to happen. I’m sure the great lesson was not to be a push over and if you see the red flag run!!!!!
    Thank you for sharing

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:39 pm

      Definitely! Live and learn!

  3. February 14, 2014 9:16 am

    Wow – that is one hell of a date! Hilarious!

  4. February 14, 2014 9:21 am

    This totally made my day. Glad you kept the outfit. Happy Valentine’s Day!

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:38 pm

      Haha! Me too!

  5. February 14, 2014 9:39 am

    I’m also enjoying the house of cards marathon tonight and tomorrow! tooo funny of a story.. i can’t imagine!

  6. February 14, 2014 10:58 am

    AHAHAHAHAHA. OMG Paola. You ARE the cool girl. For not ever going on a date with Adam or his drunk friend, ever again ;) XO

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:32 pm

      Damn right, I’m the cool girl!! Just wish I knew it back then. Douchy boys! Sheesh!

  7. February 14, 2014 12:02 pm

    Ha ha, this is an epic bad date story! Those experiences always stink at the time, but make for such great entertainment later on. Happy Valentine’s Day!

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:38 pm

      Totally! Considering all of my other dates turned into long-term boyfriends (and one husband!)…I’m glad I have this as a memory of my early college years. You gotta have a few bad dates to remember :)

  8. February 14, 2014 4:07 pm

    wow…so awful!!!

  9. February 14, 2014 6:22 pm

    that’s what we’re doing tonight too!! house of cards is the best !

  10. Meghan B permalink
    February 15, 2014 8:44 am

    Okay, so obviously I’m not the only one who’s shot down a whole series of glaring red flags just to spend more time with a cute guy. And they sound SO familiar: frat boy, no car, lives with girls…I mean, this sounds just like someone I dated my senior year of college! (I know, I should’ve known better by then.) Luckily, like you, I didn’t see him much after a couple of awkward dates, and now I have a MUCH cuter, kinder, more mature husband. :-)

    Thanks for sharing this story! Happy (late) Valentine’s Day!

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:34 pm

      Ugh!! Thank goodness we were smart enough to learn from our mistakes ;)

  11. February 15, 2014 4:30 pm

    Oh what an experience. Oh the joys of being 19!
    How different the world of marriage and children is!

    • love and cupcakes permalink*
      February 16, 2014 6:36 pm

      Haha! 19 is def a fun & crazy time. Wish I could go back sometimes!

  12. February 17, 2014 2:32 am

    ohh god this was painful to read!! I think I would have said enough is enough after dinner. I’m glad you left them stranded, and I hope they at least gave you gas money or something!!

  13. February 17, 2014 5:24 pm

    That’s such an awful date!! I totally empathize with you, trying to be the “cool” girl and go along with the plans even though you want to refuse. What a clueless jerk he was!

  14. February 18, 2014 8:23 am

    Oh my! That was a terrible date. The things we do and let people get away with when we are young. Thanks for sharing. I have some horrible date stories or experiences myself that I learned from. These experiences only make you wiser.

  15. April 21, 2014 7:01 pm

    This is a fab story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It reminded of my early years having a car and driving no-good-people around.

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